School for the Twins

5 years ago today I lay in my bed on bed rest hoping and praying to keep these two little guys safe in my belly for a few more weeks.  I spent years fighting to get them in my belly and 36 weeks trying to keep them there. 

All the while I didn't let my mind wander to the really cool stuff that would one day happen because of the fear that had been instilled in me for years.

I never got to think about the amazingly cool bond they would form or the quirks that would be their own or how one would excel in different areas then the other.  Or how they would fight like cats and dogs.

How one would be so athletic and independent and the other so stinking smart and cuddly.  How they would enjoy playing with different things and dressing differently.

These boys who are so uniquely different yet both equally amazing will be starting school on Wednesday.  Don't ask me how this happened because clearly I do not know where the time has gone.

Parts of me wish time would just stop for a little while, but then again I would miss watching them grow, change, and learn.

I sit here in tears of a little joy because I know this is a great thing for them and frankly me too #mamaneedsabreak but also in sadness that our lives are changing from here on out.

These dudes will go to school for the next 18 years or so, these dudes are no longer my babies, these dudes will no longer just stay home and hang out with me and be my side kicks at the gym or on our walks.

They will become more independent, make friends, lose friends, learn some harsh realities, and grow so much it makes my heart hurt.  They will have someone else teaching them besides me.

My hope is that they will admire, respect, and look up to this new woman that will be teaching them some pretty cool new things.  My hope is that they will love and enjoy going to school. That their amazing brains will suck in all this useful information they can take with them to become successful, smart, loving, caring, amazing men.

Good luck on Wednesday my sweet baby boys I know you will do great in this next chapter of your lives, and I promise to encourage and help you every step of the way.

I love you to the moon and back times 1,000.